JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on May 24, 2015 20:18:26 GMT -5
Shenanigan
[shuh-nan-i-guh n]
noun, Informal. 1. Usually, shenanigans. mischief; prankishness: Halloween shenanigans. deceit; trickery. 2. A mischievous or deceitful trick, practice, etc.
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It wasnt all that long ago that he was the fastest. The fastest of the world. As soon as shit hit the fan Usain ran like there was no tomorrow. Off to different places where the infection did not yet spread. Still in his running shorts and green vest he thought he could outrun the apocalypse itself but little did he know, the apocalypse catches up in more ways than one. One can outrun the physical apocalypse but one cannot outrun his own mind as Usain soon found out. This is a collection of the wild adventures of a man too fast for his own good. Cowardly, afraid of everything but also afraid to admit it, he runs.
Working for a man he knows only as Jordos, he runs..and runs...and runs.
Hungry as a horse, thirsty as a camel, fast as the wind.
With all that energy things are bound to happen.
(written in 8ce619, just to make your eyes hurt).
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on May 24, 2015 20:28:49 GMT -5
Fate would have it on this day that Usain was out in Muldraugh, looting the regular places.
Just as he was passing Cortman medical he could hear doors banging. Too curious to resist, the stuff Jordos wanted moved could wait and he approached the building.
Still banging of doors.
He opened the door and sprinted through, sprinting through the entire ground floor in a jiffy but noone in sight.
More banging of doors.
Usain went upstairs only to find a nice girl walking around and banging with doors as only ladies can.
Usain asked if the girl wanted to play some golf but the girl gave no reply. Usain, being into every sport just to keep his mind occupied started hitting balls all through the room.
When Usain was done showing off his amazing golf skills, the girl was dead.
Usain didnt know what to make of this, he quickly ran.
he ran so fast the blood rushed off his crooked and bend golfclub..
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on May 24, 2015 20:39:07 GMT -5
Back in Westpoint was where the business was this day and business was good for sure.
Having to give up golf after the last incident that involved a dead girl and a lot of golf ball shaped holes in roofs and walls. Usain decided to give that up, he will not now or never hold a falus shaped weapon ever again. Guns are also too cliché. Running, fast running. Thats gonna be MO from now on.
As Usain wanders into a house with weird little wooden structures around it he spots a few nice goodies laying around. Sure mr. Jordos Sir will pay good bottlecaps for this he thought and he began looting the place.
Someone is standing next to him and scared him half to death. WELCOME, yelled the someone. THIS IS MY HOME!!, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!
Usain answered that it was a cool place but too exposed. Being in the middle of Westpoint and directly south of the shops, Usain could only think of running out of there...fast as possible. I FOUND THIS PLACE AND ITS MINE NOW, ISNT IT COOL!?
Usain said yea, again...its a cool place but very exposed and tried warning the simple soul that his life wasnt safe here. I DONT CARE ABOUT DYING, I CAN JUST COME BACK. THERE ARE SHOPS JUST NORTH OF HERE, the man continued.
Usain was getting a bit creeped out by the naivity of this person but despite this feeling he thought that the man deserved some company.
He went to the group of people standing closest to the house and asked them with a HEY YOU! OVER HERE! to please follow them.
People nowadays arent that picky about their house parties anymore, or the time, or the one who gives it for that matter. It wasnt long until the house filled up nicely with guests who went straight for the meat.
Usain said; 'I brought you some friends'! but the guests and the host were too busy eating/and getting eaten.
Ok bye!
Usain left the property unscaved, as he was fast.
fast as the wind..
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on May 26, 2015 23:30:30 GMT -5
It had been a long day and Usain found himself out for a little nap on the outskirts of Muldraugh. A place well fortified for zombels would be a good idea so he picked a house with a nice and sturdy looking, wooden fence around it.
It didnt take long until Usain was awoken by people entering the house.
Usain greeted them but was warned by one saying that there was a big horde outside. Of course curiosity got the better of Ussi and with confidence in his speed he ran through the front door of the house, through the fenced gate in front only to run into a pile of zombies.
He ran back in to tell the people that they were right, a big horde was standing right outside the gates.
The group of zombels made their way in, as fellow companions seeked to hold them off at the gates, they started flooding in and it wasnt for long until one of tha valiant defenders had perished on the lawn of the little house. Usain ate an orange.
He ran off after that, straight through the zombie horde and he made it.
Off to run another day.
RIP Razm
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on May 27, 2015 18:36:35 GMT -5
Groundhog day with Usain B.
Usain found himself on this faithfull day running into Westpoint. A big horde left, right and behind as he ran through them like they werent even there.
The town of Westpoint was not a place Usain liked to visit but as good as any although today Usain had a funny feeling.
As he ran into town he came across a friendly stranger named Tdog. Tdog, always looking for pipe, shot Usain on sight. Now the story doesnt end there like it normally would. Usain saw his body as he rose up to the sky and before he knew it everything went black.
Usain opened his eyes and he was in a house in a town unbeknownst to him. As he walked out he could recocnize the sidewalk and he soon came to realize he was in WP. How can this be? How can I still be alive?
As he drank some orange soda he began running again. This is what Usain does best. Off back to Mulraugh. It wasnt before long that he ran into the same person again, Tdog asked him if he had pipe but before Usain could say anything he was already shot again..
Wake up, wakeeeehhh upppppp, whaaaaaaaakkkeeeeeehhh uuuuuuhhhhhpppp
A zombie growled in Usains ear but just before he could take a bite Usain was out of the house and on the road again. Not sure if this is a dream or something else but for the first time, after a long time, Usain felt good to be alive again. Today was fresh.
Then Tdog, then death. An endless cycle.
Usain made his way to church and said a little prayer. Maybe a little too loud because before he knew it someone asked, you got pipe for me? Usain felt the bullet enter his body this time....darkness....silence.....morning.....light.
Zombies crawl and growl in the distance and Usain picked up a knife. Going against his own code but looking for a way out of this cycle.
He came across another human, who was also carrying a knife. Its me! He said, Usain didnt know who he was but they felt like companions on the same path, knife in hand they went running, looking for a way out.
It wasnt long until they found Tdog again, using zombies as cover they could escape some of the pipeseeking wrath Tdog laid bare before them. Usains friend even sank his knife into him but Usains eyes slowly shut as he saw his newfound friend also fall to the ground.
Darkness...
Sorrow....
Golfballs....
Relief...
Time to try a different approach. Usain ran and ran and ran and finally he found himself by a lake. Far away from the known world. Feeling sorry for pipeseeking Tdog, for he could kill Usain, but he could never get the pipe. He was even more stuck in WP than Usain was, Usain thought to himself while finally reaching the safety of Muldraugh.
A weird couple of days that really made Usain think about his fast n' loose lifestyle. Must he change? Must he truly change his ways to find salvation? Must he really give his pipe next time in some back ally behind the train tracks? NO, USAIN SHALL NOT CHANGE, USAIN SHALL STAY FAST!
this story was brought to you by Tdog, may he find the pipe he so much craves C==========3.
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Post by Hobbes on May 28, 2015 8:02:45 GMT -5
This story made me laugh out loud on the bus. I feel like an idiot reading this in public. Or maybe the public are idiots for not getting a chance to see this wonderful story. "Got that pipe for me?" Hahaha. Gold JordosS. Fuckin gold.
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Fnnenn Enninn
Find me on the admin account, Earendil
Church of the Most Stainless Utensils
Posts: 135
AKA (in game): Fnnenn
AKA (in game): Finrod
AKA (in game): Beren
Reputation:: Doctor
Group(s) In-Game:: The Church of the Most Stainless Utensil.
The PKK Task Force
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Post by Fnnenn Enninn on May 28, 2015 10:21:34 GMT -5
I laughed, I cried. I threw up from the intensity of emotions. Usain Bolt is the role model the Millennial generation needs, not the one it wants.
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TDog
You just got Tdogged
Blood Hounds
Posts: 38
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Post by TDog on May 31, 2015 14:14:07 GMT -5
Tdogs stops by
3======================================================>~~~~~~~~
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metaldevin
Blood Hounds
Posts: 121
Reputation:: Survivalist
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Post by metaldevin on Jun 11, 2015 8:35:53 GMT -5
Haha barely got a chance to read this. Great stuff!
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MaxMikester
Survivor
Posts: 98
AKA (in game): MaxMikester
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Post by MaxMikester on Jun 11, 2015 8:58:58 GMT -5
It sounds so evil, cruel, and dark... but with a comedic twist... I LOVE IT!
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on Jun 11, 2015 10:02:15 GMT -5
It should have been a productive workday
there was a lot of shit that had to be done this day but Usain felt weaker than he normally felt, not as fast and not as strong
He decided to hang around the weird fort in the middle of the road and all of a sudden, a lovely lady walked by. She commented on Usain his pants (which was missing) Usain replied that he was wearing his running shorts? Why would he wear anything else? Usain was born in running shorts and started running as soon as he left the uterus and only stopped a couple of times when people were cheering and shoving medals in his hands.
Usain does not know better. The apocalypse hasnt changed that much for him, people still want to touch him wherever he goes as he bobs and weaves his way through hordes and hordes of people cheering his name.
What was I telling? I totally lost train of thought.....whatever...one of those days....
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on Jun 11, 2015 10:13:38 GMT -5
it should have been a productive workday
there was a lot of shit that had to be done this day but Usain felt weaker than he normally felt, not as fast and not as thirsty
He decided to hang around the weird fort further up the road and all of a sudden, a lovely lady walked by. She commented on Usain his pants, which was missing.
This all sounds vaguely familiar....nahhh.nvm...
She commented on Usain not having any pants and Usain replied he was wearing his running shorts. A little while later another friendly survivor walked by and it didnt take the lovely lady of the horde long to shoot her right in the groin, the friendly survivor (who lived out in the woods with her sisters) tried to ran but it didnt go so well as the lady of the horde was an excellent shot.
Face down in the dirt she fell, uttered her last breath just as she felt the lady of the horde loot her body of some hard earned axes.
Another friendly fellow joined, his name was Devin and hes a Mexicant. Usain and the two of them talked and did absolutely nothing for the next hour. The road was quiet today. People wanted to touch Usain again but the 2 friendly people wouldnt let them hug Usain, as bullets flew and Usain flew even harder, the thumping of bodies hit the floor.
Usain decided to write stuff on the ground using the ripped clothes of the people that adored him so much that they were willing to withstand a wall of bullets that Mexicant and the Lady of the Horde uttered their way.
Later the forest girl even rejoined at the camp! Usain felt happy and at ease. Together they wrote stuff on the ground using the clothes.
My message to you, please dont bother the clothes on the ground on the way to WP and heed the message you find on your travels - You will love Em, and you will go back to Muldraugh!
its safe there, dont leave safety
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on Jun 30, 2015 11:52:36 GMT -5
It has been a while since he saw his brother...Usain has always been a fast one..
And although they shared a common first name, they were nothing alike. The Bolt family always was divided. You had Usain the older brother who would just run and Usain the younger brother that didnt run. Not as known, but a very talented man himself to say the least.
When Usain was trying on new running shoes when he was younger or ran around half naked in his running shorts. His brother was always there in the background, playing with his legos and his gadgets. Great imagination the boy had, he dreamed of one day creating a lego fortress that would stretch all of Jamaica, where people could live for free.
That dream was however shattered when his father came home stoned as an ape one night, stepped on one of his lego blocks, tripped and hit the table and slipped into a coma.
Young Usain Bolts n Nuts, as the people called him, would never be the same. He went into exile on the other side of the island where he build things from scratch.
Then just as he was ready to forgive himself and seek out his brother 10 years later, who by now was known around the world as the fastest man alive, the zombie apocalypse struck. Usain Bolts n Nuts build himself a raft. His goal was clear - reconcile with his brother and shed the skin of shame that surrounded him all these years.
He heared rumors about Usain being in Kentucky and that is where his travels brought him after he build a wooden car like you would see in the old Flintstones cartoons.
With all this sorrow, things are bound to happen..
(Written in 40aeec, just to make youre eyes hurt)
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on Jun 30, 2015 12:10:27 GMT -5
It had been a long day and Usain was tired of using the flintstones car to go around, he already met great people on his way through Kentucky that had heard that Usain was in the area. Young Usain searched and searched and build a lot of things around, just to make peoples lives better. He came across a young woman called The Oracle who said she had met Usain before and that he was probably in a town called Muldraugh. Usain went there as fast as possible and after searching far and wide he found a house that was floating up in the sky on the outskirts of town. Usain thought to himself that it could very well be possible that Usain maybe went for a little nap there, because it was so high up in the sky, Usain had to think of something to get in. Usain wouldnt be Usain if he didnt find a way inside this fortress in the sky so he started chopping wood, sawing logs, and started building a staircase that blocked out the sun itself. It was so high that Usain could see all the way to some heart on the highway and if he squinted he could see a base in the shape of a pipe with the words ..-Dog on the side. What an odd structure. Usain build and build and it took him some time to reach the fortress. HIs efforts werent rewarded however. Usain wasnt there. Usain himself however just had to take a nap before traversing the dangerous stairs down. In his sleep Usain could hear screams, unknown faces dropping down a black hole before splatting on the ground..... Finally Usain woke up from his restless sleep. He drank a beverage that was included in the roomservice and made a sheetrope to climb down, no way in hell he was going to walk down that M.C. Esscher staircase he had created. Upon arriving on the ground he could see the blood spatters all over the place and the ground was soaked in blood. Usain looked around in the night and was absolutely horrified by the amount of people that had died in the last couple of hours. Usain fell down to his knees, it all came back to him.. the pain.. the lego's the scent of weed and blood in the air. Is he ever going to find his brother? A quest so hopeless, but maybe also lessons can be learned, Usain cant be too hard on himself for other peoples stupidity - Even if he is the one providing them the tools to hurt themselves..
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JordosS
The Agency
Posts: 263
AKA (in game): Nicola Tesla
AKA (in game): Usain Bolt
AKA (in game): Drakon
Reputation:: Veteran
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Post by JordosS on Oct 4, 2015 12:53:12 GMT -5
Not long after Usain had build a shitload of stairs into nothing he ran across a nice base near WP.
Such a sturdy structure it was, it reminded him of a real life castle on poles.
Usain started wrecking his way into the base but he found a sheetrope down.
This looked perfect for some great booty but today seemed like it wasnt so, the base was in reconstruction.
Usain decided to patch the things he broke back up and decided to let the base ripen a little bit before taking it on.
Later Usain found out it belonged to his good friend Trashboat...
Dont worry Trash, your secret is safe and I respect you too much to loot you blind (was gonna post screenshot but afraid of copyright claims from Trashboat Inc.)
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